Thursday, October 11, 2007

Aussie Citizenship Test

Just a bit of a funny take on my topic of social psychological issues facing immigrants in Australia today, you've probably all got it in a fwd but I think it's a good one... Any thoughts on the real Australian citizenship test?

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"

2. What is a bloody little beauty?

3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?

4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?

6. Complete the following sentences:
a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother .......
b) You're going home in the back of a .........
c) Fair crack of the...........

7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss

8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?

9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?

11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?

12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.

13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?

14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?

15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?

16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?

18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?

19. Who would you like to crack on to?

20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?

21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?

22. What does sinkin piss at a mate’s joint and gettin paralised mean?

You may copy your mate’s answers, please submit this back to me when you have had a fair old crack.
The pass rate is 45%

22 comments:

Amanda said...

That was good as GOLD! :) As funny as a fart in an elevator (just thought i'd contribute to your lovely aussie slang!).

I haven't read this one yet. Maybe someone should have forwarded it to Johnny. Have you read the real citizenship test that was proposed? Some of the answers i wouldn't even know. I think it's a little bit unfair really. Anyway, that was nice, light and humorous! Thanks Deb :)

Amanda said...

Hi Debb, i posted a sample of the real Australian citizenship test if you are interested in having a look? http://thinkingsocialpsychology.blogspot.com

Cheers, Amanda :)

Ladyzulu said...

Hi Debi
Is the citizenship test that difficult? And worse of all if its written in aussie slang very few will pass it unless of course, if they have aussie mates to help them learn the aussie lingo before doing the test
gladys

Debbi said...

Thanks for that link Amanda, I was going to try and search for something but haven't had a chance yet. I really don't think that most of the questions in the sample that you posted are relevant or should determine who can be called an Aussie and who couldn't and I know loads of people who wouldn't know the answers who are at least 3rd or 4th generation aussies! I can guarantee I wouldn't know those sort of questions about other countries, but I'd like to think that I'd be a decent citizen wherever I lived, the way I see it it's more about attitude, respect, empathy etc than about whether or not we remember historical dates.

Gladys the test I posted was just a joke one going around the internet, not sure if you've had the chance but you should check out Amanda's blog, she has a sample of some real test questions. I know with the real test there's a bank of 200 questions and each person gets a random selection of questions generated on a computer for their test. It would make it extremely difficult if the tests were in aussie slang!

Ruth said...

Hey Deb, bahaha, that's awesome! I don't even know what half of those questions are talking about! They're pretty funny though:-) It makes you think about how hard it must be for people who come here from other countries, especially those who don't speak English. After looking at that though, I'm not completely convinced that we even speak English here! And isn't that one of the criteria that immigrants are having to meet? Lol, not very fair is it when we can't even speak it ourselves:-)

Anonymous said...

Thats a great list absolutely solid, I think that sometimes questions like these are better than the real ones.

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Anonymous said...

Debbi,

As Amanda said if you are interested or need to take the citizenship test I have a directory that might help you. I was not looking for this webpage in particular since I'm going through the Canadian test, not the Australian one.
I purchased a training program since I was a little distracted by the way the actual booklet was written. They hay Australian and UK versions too. I passed my test so I can say it work, as far as you study.... They have free trials.

Not really sure this was the intention in your post but still, might help.

http://www.AustralianTest.com was one of them and people that shared their test experience http://www.mycitizenshiptest.com.

Hope you can find this among all these spam comments.

Cheers. Patricia!

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